breathe a little easier..

2012 spring Semester! Complete!

Finally! I survived the semester… IT WAS very very busy… I always had to be on top of my shit.. always do hw whenever i had free time..it took over my life. but i’m very proud of myself. I proved to myself that I can succeed. But whats probably the hardest part of getting through all this.. is i don’t have that one special person that i can tell my accomplishment too… Its pretty lonely… I think I’m finally ready to go on dates and get to know someone and let them… but theres no one there!!! or they are extremely busy and moving everything on suppppperr supppperr sloooowww speed. =/

I have no idea what to do with my time now that school is over.. everyone is lucky cuz they have a significant other to turn to but I don’t have do everything alone…. I go to church alone, I sleep alone. I just wish i had someone special to share my life with now and someone who’s willing to share there life with me.. sigh.. I should be so happy of my accomplishment i mean I’m walking the stage.. but i don’t have that significant other.. and my friend and family are awesome i know i they’ll all be there for me but they have their own lives i  can’t always be bugging them yanno..lol

When your parents try to talk to you about your future

laugh-addict:

and you’re just like,

You will laugh here! 

(Source: thewisepickle)

I am what I fear

So it’s 5 in the morning and I can’t sleep! Theres a storm outside and its raining really hard with lightening and thunder.. It’s pretty crazy outside. I’m really excited for this trip !finally a get away! Kinda scared tho about the drive
So im kinda getting to know this guy he’s really nice. He kinda reminds me of Nate with his over achievingness but kinda like Bryan with the baby face and chubbiness. I kinda wanna give him a chance even tho he’s not my usual type. I think It’s good I’m opening up again but the down fall is.. What if it’s just another Nate situation were I’m forcing myself to like him. Cause he likes me. But so far. I’ve been pretty real with him and he seems to accept it. I dunno but what really scares me about opening up to another relationship is hurting my family and friends. I don’t wanna disappoint them again. I feel like I hurt them enough in the past and if I do it again they’re done with me.

I know that everytime I get involved with someone I tend to neglect my love ones and I don’t want to do that again. My family and friends mean a lot to me and just talking to this guy I can feel my parents and friend shift. Cause I know they feel like I’ll forget about them when I met someone.
I feel really bad last night cause I was skyping with the girls last night and EC called and hella kinda left them hanging.

I think what’s really stopped me from getting into another relationship is I know I wouldn’t be able to handle school work family friends and a boyfriend. I barely can handle things now. So if I throw a boy in the mix. I feel like I’ll end up neglecting someone and I don’t wanna do that.. But at the sametime what about me. I shouldn’t have to feel guilty if I want to meet someone. I mean shouldnt my family and friend understand we’re I’m coming from and be happy if I actually did meet someone really worth talking too. I dunno I’m just really scared cause I love how it is my girls and my family. For once in my life things are going right and I don’t want things to get messed up.

It good that I finally figured out my greatest challenge in my love life is myself. I’m the one not ready. This is the reason why I’m single. So that I can get things straighten out. So the next time I’ll be able to do it right.

but I don’t know how to get to the point of being able to balance everything out. How do people do it!! Seriously make time to fit everything in their schedule and still able to get what they need to do done. Fucken priorities.